Love Thy Goats

Love thy goats, by Igor Ljubuncic (The Amazing Adventures of Dashing Prince Dietrich)

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by Igor Ljubuncic

 

When people think of cuddly animals, goats usually do not fare high on the list. Cats and dogs dominate, followed by some other small, fluffy, hairy things. The ultimate rock climber takes a backbench in this competition, with no fault of its own. But when you think about it in more details, goats are fun. They are agile, they are obstinate, quite clever when they choose to be and when they are not distracted by the smell of human armpits, and they will outsmart you if food is to be had. Have you ever seen a dog perching on a roof of a car, trying to eat off a branch that is way above its normal remit? No, you have not. A goat? Definitely. Sweet, soft, practical, economical. They also taste awesome, and the cheese is a treat, especially for people who are not on friendly terms with cows. All in all, goats tick all the right boxes.

Yet, for some odd reason, people get all too squeamish when it’s time to get intimate with one.

And this is the opening sequence of The Amazing Adventures of Dashing Prince Dietrich.

Wait, sorry. No. I’m lying. It’s not a goat. It’s a sheep.

Did I mention how cool the sheep are?

But the POINT is, you rarely have the protagonist ruminate illicit thoughts about innocent grass-browsing quadrupeds, which kind of sets the moral footing (or hoofing if you will) for the whole book. So you ask yourselves, what kind of a man is Prince Dietrich (let’s call him Dick) if his dreams are riddled with this level of mischief? You won’t be the first to think that, as almost every other reviewer has profusely commented on Dick’s obsession.

The answer is: A very fluid man. A man of opportunity.

When I started thinking about my new book at that time, I wanted something different from my somber, grim-dark setting of The Lost Words, something simpler, faster, lighter, with fewer characters yet more character development, plus mandatory moral ambiguity, because I can’t write innocent stuff after all. I needed a protagonist who is a coward yet not afraid to voice his darkest desires. I needed someone who you would loathe and pity at the same time. I realized the only way you would love Dick is if his own father hated him. So he became a survivor. A naughty one.

The story began taking shape, the goats were there, ever present. The story was set.

From the loins of my imagination and my obvious liking of goats, Prince Dietrich was born.

I do not know if the recipe works. You and time will tell me that. But I do believe that within all this prosaic madness, there is a seed of truth that affects all of us. We all have our special little obsessions and cravings, and we probably would not be comfortable telling others about them. And yet, we would probably find it funny reading about them in someone else’s story. The most ridiculous spin that I could think of – and yet make it tangible, real, accessible – is the tale of many a highlander, from Wales to the Balkans and beyond. It’s not all about that of course, but it sets the tone for Dick’s misfortunes and adventures. His cunning, obstinacy, his climbing skills (in the social sense), and his mischief. Let the journey begin!

P.S. No goats (or sheep) were harmed during the production of this book.

 



Amazing Adventures of Dashing Prince DietrichThe Amazing Adventures of Dashing Prince Dietrich: Woes and Hose #1
, by Igor Ljubuncic
Genres: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Humor & Satire

 

Imagine the perfect hero: handsome, tall, courageous, loves his father. Meet Prince Dietrich, the exact opposite.

Prince Dietrich’s greatest wish is for his father—the king—to die. Then, he can become the ruler of Monrich. But King Ulaf has other plans for his rebelious son. Tired of Dietrich’s constant failures, the king gives the prince one last chance at redemption: marry Duchess Amadea of Sacony or face banishment to the Black Desert. Left without a choice, Dietrich embarks on his wedding journey.

It’s meant to be a peaceful trip…

The Amazing Adventures of Dashing Prince Dietrich is a hilarious, lightning-fast novel set in a world discovering the magic of gunpowder. Imagine Romeo and Juliet. Imagine Machiavelli. Imagine the Count of Monte Cristo. Now forget all those.

You want to hate Dietrich, but you also want to see what he’ll do next.

 

About the author:

Igor Ljubuncic is a physicist by vocation and a Linux geek by profession. He is the founder and operator of the award-winning website www.dedoimedo.com, where you can learn a lot about a lot [sic]. Before dabbling in operating systems, Igor worked in the medical hi-tech industry as a scientist. He loves writing, and has been doing so since the tender age of ten summers. You can learn more about Igor’s books and award-nominated short stories on www.thelostwordsbooks.com

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